Beauty duds/fails

A few funny little items I have in my drawer that I purchased out of sheer naivete and desperation.

Kuan IM pearl cream (Thailand) - I bought this cream specifically because it was called a 'freckle eraser' and also contained salicylic acid. Its claims to combat melanosis and pigmentation is totally bogus, and that's putting it lightly. It both smelled and looked cheap, so why I kept with it for so long I have no idea. I was really hoping to see a difference after continued use, but alas, no cigar.

This is supposed to be a serum that speeds up the growth of facial hair, which is supposed to work on eyebrows but I haven't seen any evidence of that yet... and it's nearly used up. I am not a fan of the androgynous thick brow, but I've been growing mine in a bid to try and cover up a piercing gone wrong scar that I've had for over ten years. Truth be told the hair hasn't grown properly near the scarred tissue so I've tried to get away with having incredibly thin to no brows, which ultimately made it more obvious. They will never be as symmetrical as they once were, but I think avoiding plucking completely for a couple of years has helped to redefine the shape of my left brow. No thanks to this silly roll-on.

Now this is just great, can you guess what this is for? It's a face stretcher! The idea is you strap this underneath your chin and fasten on the top of the head to stretch and create the perfect V-line face shape that is so fashionable in Korea. To be perfectly honest, my face is already quite narrow so I'm not sure how I'd be able to track progress without actually measuring my jaw line both before and after, and that's just too tedious for me. I doubt that it does do anything but I'm holding on to it just in case to see if it can stretch out any lines I may develop in the years to come.